The Hugo Manifesto of 2007
Whereas:
(a) Hugo Chavocado, held in captivity in a bleak office environment against his will, denied the basic rights which we all hold so dear, confined to an appalling standard of living, removed from the world at large, forced to interact with those people of a low ilk held as company by the resident of office 19-241, sequestered in a pot, denied basic communication with the outside world; and
(b) the above-referenced universially recognized rights of right to sunlight, right to fresh air every once in a while, right to basic medical care, right to getting your soil changed, right to grow roots, etc., have been denied Hugo; and
(c) Hugo sits like Buddha in a six-foot cell, an innocent avocado in a living hell; and
(d) Hugo's legal guardian has:
(1) repeatedly ignored frequent pleas for information on Hugo's wellbeing, health, color, size, leaf shape, etc., from both myself and her own family members (see https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=6329580630907231929&postID=5194888189159332875)
(2) neglected to fulfill her duties to keep the world informed of Hugo's well-being though blog postings that are satisfactorily frequent and humorous
(3) made no efforts whatsoever to take, have taken, arrange for, render, post, publish, or otherwise circulate photographs of Hugo for the general public
(4) unquestionably violated the standard of care due to Hugo under commonly recognized humanitarian standards
(5) cancelled all of Hugo's press conferences and blocked his outgoing pronouncements from reaching the media and press; and
(e) I have too much time on my hands; and
(f) we all miss hearing about him very, very much;
Be it resolved that Hugo Chavocado should be freed and given over to his original procurer, antecedent, caretaker, owner, purchaser, carrier of the soil, public advocate, public citizen #1, and all around good guy, me.
Delivery of Hugo shall be made as soon as is reasonably possible. 2 1/2 hours from now will work for me. Free Hugo.
